Mike Ellerkamp

Author | Speaker | Coach

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Selfish first: solving the reciprocity dilemma.

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Selfish Delimma

I am struggling with a question – maybe you can help or maybe you have struggled with this concept too?  It is the word: selfish. This word seems to always have a negative connotation.  My struggle is to find a word that means “thinking of one’s self” which does not seem negative.  Let me explain:

In earlier posts I suggested that the Golden Rule operates in a two-part process. My research suggests that one should focus on current situation regarding results and outcome for self, first. And then test results and outcome for the people with whom we associate. Be a little “selfish!”  When I speak in this way I almost always draw raised eyebrows. Why? Ultimately, our vocabulary has identified a word that carries a negative connotation. Merriam-Webster dictionary says selfish is “having or showing concern only for yourself and not for the needs or feelings of other people.” If you go to the other side of the equation, say “altruism” our definition is “others over self.” There doesn’t appear to be anything in the middle!

Selfish
Uniting Handshake.

I can use a short phrase: “Love thy neighbor as thyself.” That is the perfect phrase to identify “loving self first!” You must get your house in order before you can help others arrange theirs. This process applies to daily decisions as well. It is impossible for us to operate in a vacuum! We must interface with others in nearly every decision made throughout our lives.

What is the best course of action for your current situation?

Answer…

And then, how does that affect others? This is the step that avoids selfish results.

Explaining Selfish

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100th MONKEY EFFECT

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The 100th Monkey

It has come to my attention that many of you are not aware of the 100th Monkey effect! Wow, so sorry. As I said in an earlier blog Finding A Thread; there seem to be these “hundredth monkey” events. Although this “effect” has essentially been shown to be a wives tale, the concept has become a sort of “urban legion” through its rather odd mythical staying power. Let’s take a look. The story goes that in the early 1950s, some scientists observing macaque monkeys on the Japanese island of Koshima found that a troop of monkeys learned to clean sweet potatoes and the behavior spread quite rapidly to the younger generation which is an observation that frequently occurs in these sorts of studies. However, the twist to  the 100th monkey story was that our scientist had been reported claiming that when a certain, large enough, number of monkeys in the troop on Koshima was reached (the 100th monkey) members of troops of monkeys on other disconnected islands were also “suddenly aware” of the sweet potato cleaning behavior.

Image of monkeys cleaning sweet potatoes.
Monkeys cleaning sweet potatoes. “100th monkey effect.”

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NO EXCUSE

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THE TRUTH? What is that exactly?

I have only recently really understood what that meant for me.  There is a New Testament passage from Paul’s Epistle to the Romans that is important to this discussion:

Image of ancient text
An early manuscript of Pauline Letters

For the wrath of God is revealed from heaven against all ungodliness and unrighteousness of men, who by their unrighteousness suppress the truth. For what can be known about God is plain to them, because God has shown it to them. For his invisible attributes, namely, his eternal power and divine nature, have been clearly perceived, ever since the creation of the world, in the things that have been made. So they are without excuse.

(Romans 1:18 – 1:21 ESV) [Emphasis mine.]

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PEEK-A-BOO GAMES

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CONSCIOUSNESS AS REALITY

I have puzzled over this question for a long time. There are so many traps within that statement. But I am hard headed and will always return to O³I. (Omniscience, Omnipresence, Omnipotence & Immutability) The Bhagavad Gita captures for me the essence of our place and purpose in this Universe.

For instance Krishna says to Arjuna in The Gita:

Real, as used in spiritually, means that which is eternal, never changing, indestructible. This is the very definition of ‘Reality.’ That which is Real never ceases to be. Anything that is impermanent, even if it lasts a very long time and seems durable, eventually changes and thus does not have true Reality. The wise ones understand the difference between the Real and the not-Real. When you fully understand this profound fact, you will have attained the zenith of all knowledge…

Get to know this Reality. It pervades the entire cosmos and is unchanging and indestructible. No power can affect it, No one can change the changeless.

[Quoted from “The Bhagavad Gita: A Walkthrough for Westerners” by Jack Hawley; Chapter 2: Verses 16 – 17]

THE TRAP OF CONSCIOUSNESS

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Realizing Consciousness

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AWARE OF THE STARE

So last time (See: Finding Thread) I touched on an odd historical occurrence centered on a social belief system, called the Golden Rule. I explained how hard it is to explain this occurrence without having some sort of “guiding hand.” Another way to explain this phenomenon is to use a term like Universal Consciousness – or God Consciousness. We experience Universal Consciousness in many ways if we pay attention. One profound example is the thing we experience as the “awareness of a stare.” Haven’t you been somewhere and had the feeling that you were being watched and looked up to find a person gazing at you? [Read more…] about Realizing Consciousness

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